What I learned is that I was holding myself back.
I'm not sure how a person goes from one to the other, but I soon found myself in the center of everything again.
I also decided to be more honest with myself when it comes to my feelings. I'm not ready to write about that yet.... but I have learned that admitting feelings to myself and admitting them to other people are two very different things.
Right now, I am struggling with the later of the two.
