I pull myself together according to how I want others to see me.
And it works because noone sees the dishes in my sink, the pile of papers on my desk, my sock bin - in which hardly any pairs are folded together.
Noone sees that for the past 5 hours I have been in horrible pain due to stress. My back is knotted up and my ulcer has kicked into full gear. Not much helps. But I continue to do yoga stretches, drink water, relax my body and breathe in and out slowly and deeply.
Tomorrow morning I will wake up and there will still be knots in my back. I will put on my slacks and my striped button down shirt and I don't have to pretend... but others will see a side of me they want to without seeing what they don't want to.